Bugle to move corporate HQ

DUBLIN, 1 April 2009 — The Bakker Bugle, an Irish B&B and internet services company, said today that it would relocate its corporate headquarters to Luxembourg.

Although the announcement took many by surprise, Bugle officials said that the move was part of a plan announced in mid-2007 to grow the Bugle brand throughout Europe. Also part of that plan is the today’s acquisition of The Bakker Bugle by the Luxembourgish edutainment giant, Bastelengebläers SARL.

In a brief teleconference before the opening of European markets today, Bastelengebläers officials announced the change of ownership and predicted a bright future for the beloved Bugle website and tourist destination.

Also speaking on the call were spokespersons for Bakker Bugle Holdings, which will soon be renamed Ewing Shelf Corp to reflect its change in focus. Ewing Shelf Corp will retain one lone Bugle property, the copyrights and film-options for the Bugle PI oeuvre.

During a short question-and-answer period, Sidd Finch of Bastelengebläers addressed legal concerns related to the company’s role in the attempted Flemish secession of three years ago.

“Our embrace of The Bakker Bugle brand is not related to that unfortunate period,” Finch said. “Today, more than ever, our leadership of the content-based industry comes from the value-rich expansion of our suite of market-oriented solutions.”

The move of jobs and assets out of Ireland leaves some industry observers with questions. Isaac Bickerstaff of London’s “Eye on Hibernia’s Business” said, “It is hard to see what The Bakker Bugle and Bastelengebläers have in common, beyond the first letters of their names. I am afraid that the merging of corporate DNA may be a rocky road. And The Bakker Bugle, as a corporation, has not offered good value for money since San Serriffe.”

Eight months ago, the Bugle’s corporate directors were embroiled in a public-relations nightmare regarding the San Serriffe offices of one of its subsidiaries. Two international business newsletters carried stories by Janet Cooke that alleged that company executives opened the offices in the idyllic haven in order to entertain friends and potentially friendly politicians. The company’s spokespersons immediately called parts of the stories “fabrications,” and both newsletters ran partial retractions within weeks.

“The Bugle can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube,” says industry expert Kazuo Uzuki, “but the larger narrative of being acquired and moving a corporate headquarters is likely to divert attention from the San Serriffe fiasco.”

At the end of the teleconference, Masal Bugduv of The Bakker Bugle said, “Many of the executives that held roles in both the Holdings company and The Bakker Bugle have decided to spend more time with their families.

After the announcement, Bakker Bugle Holdings director Henri Mensonge commented from his office in San Serriffe, “I’m rich, b****! That’s all there is to it. Those Liechtensteinian thugs can have their intellectual property. I’ve got beach-front property and plenty of booze.”

In a separate press release, Bastelengebläers announced that all staff in Ireland will be offered attractive relocation packages.


Bastelengebläers Press Release: Bugle Acquisition
Bastelengebläers Press Release: Bakker Bugle HQ to move to Luxembourg City

4 Comments to “Bugle to move corporate HQ”

  1. Kathryn C. said...
    1 April 2009

    I wish the remaining members of The Bakker Bugle all the best on their new adventures to this new land. Your contributions to the world on Irish history, tourism, and culture will be greatly missed, but as a sincere fan of this online journal, I absolutely look forward to exploring Luxembourg and mainland Europe through your regular blog entries!

  2. Dave said...
    1 April 2009

    Beautiful piece of Metafiction Will. How would you describe this post? Based on a true story? Inspired by real events?

    Good luck to you all, I’m looking forward to heaving about your experience in the alcohol capital of the world.

  3. Jaime said...
    1 April 2009

    You do a scary good job of making up crap polico/business talking points. Bravo!

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Bugle-Blog CLASSIC · Bakker Bugle Blog