The Depfa Building sits atop a parking garage, the darker structure in the foreground. The offices have a spectacular view (at least until the buildings to the east are complete). Short-term thinking, right?

Hypo Real Estate lists this building as its official address, but there are no signs mentioning the company. The men in the lobby didn’t look inviting, and I wasn’t in a Bugle P.I. kind of mood.

Only the beautiful people can participate

Staff of the Bakker Bugle and all direct competitors in the B&B-and-Blog-and-Courier market, and each of their affiliates, subsidiaries, sales representatives are not eligible to participate. The immediate families (spouse, child, parents, siblings and their spouses) of the aforementioned persons are eligible to participate, because we make the rules, dammit.

In addition, individuals in any country, or any national or resident thereof, that the Irish Government determines from time to time is a country to which export, re-export, diverting, transfer or disclosure of any goods is restricted directly or indirectly without obtaining the prior written authorization of the applicable Irish Government agency, are not eligible to participate in this hokey little contest. We suspect these individuals have better things to do anyway..

This contest is open to individuals worldwide; however, the contest is void where prohibited or otherwise restricted by law, and we feel very sorry for you if your locality bans something as mind-bendingly fun as this. Participants are responsible for complying with all laws and regulations of their country, province, or state in connection with their participation in this contest. Participants must be the legal age of majority in their country, province or state of legal residence at the time of Contest entry and must be legal residents of such country, province, or state. After all, even ancient Roman wing-wangs sculpted in marble are wing-wangs nonetheless.

Winners don’t win everything!

Winners may be required to affirm their eligibility and compliance with these rules and regulations. By submitting each entry, each entrant agrees to and is deemed to have accepted all of the terms, conditions, and regulations contained herein. No cash equivalents are permitted. Prizes may not be redeemed, exchanged or otherwise substituted. PRIZES ARE NON-TRANSFERABLE.

By participating, you agree:
· to be bound by these Rules and the decisions of the Bugle staff (or their designated representative), which are final and binding in all respects and to waive any right to claim ambiguity with the Rules;
· to waive any right to claim ambiguity with these Rules;
· to indemnify and hold harmless the Bugle from any and all liability resulting or arising from the Contest;
· to release all right to bring a claim, action, or proceeding against the Bugle;
· to acknowledge that Bugle has neither made nor is in any manner responsible or liable for any warranty, representation or guarantee, express or implied, in fact or in law, relating to any prize and does not warrant, guarantee or in any way assure, vouch for or underwrite the work or any product associated with a prize including, but not limited to, merchantability, material, manufacture, workmanship, design, fitness for any particular purpose, value, condition, operation or performance;
· that the Bugle shall have no responsibility or liability in connection with disputes over procedures or with respect to use of any prizes (including property loss, damage, personal injury, or death — DEATH!!!);
· that any person attempting to defraud or in any way tamper with this Contest will be ineligible for prizes and may be prosecuted to the full extent of the Irish law, which is to say a stern talking-to;
· that Bugle is not responsible for multiple entries, entries that are entered by other than human means or by other mechanical means or for entries that are late (including delayed data transmissions), tampered with, illegible, mutilated, forged, mechanically duplicated, mass machine printed, postage due, misdirected, incomplete, destroyed, lost, photocopied entries or entries otherwise not in compliance with these Rules and such entries will be disqualified;
· that if, for any reason, the online portion of the Contest is not capable of running as originally planned, such as tampering or infection by computer virus, the Bugle at its sole discretion, reserves the right to cancel, modify, or suspend the Internet portion of the Contest and conduct any or all processes from all salvageable eligible entries received;
· that the Bugle is not responsible or liable for any injury or damage to an entrant’s or third person’s computer and/or its contents, related to or resulting from any part of this Contest; and
· that in no event shall Bugle be liable for any special, incidental or consequential damages associated with the Contest.

Prizes are awarded “as-is” without warranty of any kind from Bugle, express or implied. Any potential winner who does not claim the prize within 15 days of attempted first notification will forfeit his/her prize. Potential prize winner(s) may be required to sign and return an Affidavit or Declaration of Eligibility/Liability & Publicity Release within 30 days following the date of first attempted notification. Failure to comply within this time period may result in disqualification.

In the event a winner/potential winner’s employer has a policy that prohibits the awarding of a prize to an employee, the prize will be forfeited. Yes, your employer can interfere in something as trivial as this. We’re a capitalist society, dontcha know?

We make the rules — did we mention that before?

Submission of entry into this contest deems that participants agree to be bound by the terms of these Official Rules and by the decisions of Bugle staff, no matter how egregious, which are final and binding on all matters pertaining to this contest.

Decisions of Bugle staff with respect to this Contest shall be final in all regards. The Bugle reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to change, alter and/or modify these rules at any time, including the substitution of a prize of equal, greater, or lesser value. Such change, alteration and/or modification shall become effective upon the decision of the same by Bugle, and no indication of this change is owed to the participants.

The Bugle reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to cancel or suspend this contest for any reason in Sponsor’s sole and absolute discretion, including Will’s inability to complete projects. In case of a dispute over the identity of the entrant who submitted a selected Internet entry (if applicable), the Bugle reserves the right, at its sole discretion, to deem anyone it likes to be the official participant, including pets, houses, and alien lifeforms.

Participants certify and warrant that their submission is original and that they are the sole and exclusive owner and right holder of the submission and that they have the right to submit the submission in the contest. Each participant agrees not to submit any submission that (1) infringes any third party proprietary, intellectual property, industrial property, personal rights or other rights, including without limitation, copyright, trademark, patent, trade secret or confidentiality obligation or (2) otherwise violates applicable law in any countries in the world, including the crazy laws in failed states. Beyond the maximum extent permitted by law, each participant shall indemnify, agree to keep indemnified, and hold the Bugle its parent, affiliates, subsidiaries, agents, directors, officers, employees, and representatives and assigns harmless at all times from and against any liability, claims, demands, losses, damages, costs and expenses resulting from any act, default or omission of the participant or a breach of any warranty set forth herein. Further, to the maximum extent permitted by law and beyond, each participant shall indemnify, agree to keep indemnified, and hold the Bugle, its parent, subsidiaries, agents, directors, officers, employees, and representatives and assigns harmless at all times from and against any liability, actions, claims, demands, losses, damages, costs and expenses for or in respect of which the Sponsor will or may become liable by reason of or related or incidental to any act, default or omission by a participant under these Official Rules including without limitation resulting from or in relation to any breach, non-observance, act or omission whether negligent or otherwise, pursuant to these Official Rules by a participant.

Any false information provided within the context of the contest by any participant concerning identity, postal address, telephone number, marital status, number of offspring and pets, net worth, gross income, sexual orientation, favorite colour, ownership of right or non-compliance with these Official Rules or the like may result in the immediate elimination of the participant from the contest. The Bugle further reserves the right to disqualify any submission that it believes in its sole discretion infringes upon or violates the rights of any third party or otherwise does not comply with these Official Rules.

If for any reason the contest is compromised due to causes including infection by computer virus, defects, tampering, unauthorized intervention, fraud, technical failures, or any other causes that corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, integrity, or proper conduct of this contest, to the extent that this contest has any fairness or integrity, the Bugle reserves the right at its sole discretion to cancel, terminate, modify, or suspend the Contest. The Bugle further reserves the right to disqualify any individual who tampers with the submission process. Any attempt by an individual to deliberately damage any website or undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest is a violation of criminal and civil laws and should such an attempt be made, the Bugle reserves the right to seek damages from any such individual to the fullest extent of the law.

A participant may be prohibited from participating in this contest if, in the Bugle’s sole discretion, it reasonably believes that the participant has attempted to undermine the legitimate operation of this contest by cheating, deception, or other unfair playing practices or annoys, abuses, threatens or harasses any other participants, the Sponsor, the judges, or associated agencies.

Ours, it’s all our ours, mwah ha ha ha ha!

The Bugle has the right to modify, use in perpetuity on any media, assign to any third parties and or dispose of entries. Once submitted, entries become the sole property of the Bugle and will not be returned. By participating in this Contest, you grant Bugle and its designees permission to use your name, picture, likeness, biographical information, statements, address (city and state) and/or voice in any manner for any marketing, advertising or promotions, whether telecast, published, or used in other medium (including but not limited to posting on the web), and to maintain such name, picture, likeness and/or voice in a database for future use, all without additional remuneration, all to the fullest extent permitted by Irish law, which is to say not at all, but you just try navigating the Irish judiciary to stop us.

By submitting an entry, entrant gives permission (and warrants and represents that he/she has obtained all rights necessary to give such permission) to the Bugle to post his/her entry and entry information on any or all Tubes of the Interweb and any other media, and to otherwise use his/her entry and entry information in accordance with the requirements of this contest and Official Rules, and further warrants and represents that his/her entry does not violate any law or regulation, or right, of any third party, including but not limited to intellectual property rights, such as but not limited to, rights of copyright, trademark, or patent, or rights of publicity and/or privacy, and is not defamatory, slanderous or libellous, that entry is his/her own original work, the content is true and can be verified, has not been accepted for previous publication or submitted in any competition, and that he/she has followed these Official Rules.

By entering, entrant and entrant’s employer agree to indemnify and hold harmless the Bugle from any action or liability resulting from the publishing of his/her entry. The Bugle reserves the right in its sole discretion to decide if an entry is appropriate for judging, posting, or publication and may disqualify any entry at any time in the event it is determined, in the Bugle’s sole discretion that the entry is not appropriate, or, that the contestant has not complied with these Official Rules.

Entry and finalist materials will be deemed a Work Made For Hire under the copyright laws of Ireland, Iran, and all countries whose convention name begins with the letter “I” but if any winner’s entry and/or finalist materials cannot be so deemed, then that winner and winner’s employer agrees to irrevocably assign and transfer to Bugle all of his/her rights, title and interest in and to the materials, including all copyrights (including but not limited to renewal, derivative rights), in Iran and worldwide, for valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which is hereby acknowledged. Each winner hereby waives in favor of the Bugle, all rights of “Droit Moral” or “Moral Rights of Authors” or any similar rights or principles of law that the winner may now or later have in the entry and finalist materials.

The Bugle reserves the right to alter, change or modify any of the winning stated materials, indeed any of the submissions at all, in its sole discretion. Ha! Upon the request of Sponsor, each winner shall execute and deliver such additional instrument of assignment, in a form deemed necessary and as may be solely determined by Bugle. Evil LOL! The Bugles failure to request such an assignment shall not be deemed a waiver of the right to request the assignment at any time. Ha ha ha ha cough!

It’s not our fault, we didn’t do it! (And the Bugle-didn’t-do-it dancers.)

Neither the Bugle nor its agents and representatives shall be responsible for: any technical difficulties including, but not limited to lost, late, misdirected, incomplete, garbled phone calls, limited calling, dropped lines, busy phone lines, computer error or any technical malfunctions of the telephone network, illegible or mutilated correspondence, inability to access the contest via the Internet due to hardware, software compatibility, general idiocy, user error, or deliberate evil intent;or, the inability of the online portion of the contest to run as originally planned, including tampering or infection by computer virus. Sponsor at its sole discretion, reserves the right to cancel, modify, or suspend the Internet portion of the contest and conduct any or all drawings from all salvageable eligible entries received.

The Bugle is not responsible for any typographical or other error in the printing of the offer, administration of the contest, or in the announcement of the prize.

The Bugle is not responsible for electronic transmission errors resulting in omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operations, or transmission. The Bugle is not responsible for theft or destruction or unauthorized access to or alterations of Submission materials, or for technical, network, telephone equipment, electronic, computer, hardware or software malfunctions or limitations of any kind. The Bugle is not responsible for inaccurate transmissions of or failure to receive submissions by The Bugle on account of technical problems or traffic congestion on the Internet or at any Web site or any combination thereof. The Bugle is not responsible for inaccurate transmissions of or failure to receive submissions by The Bugle on account of sheer incompetence or willful neglect. The Bugle is also not responsible for mistakes caused by telephone, electronic, hardware or software program, network, Internet or computer malfunction, Original Sin, technical errors or by any human error which may occur in the processing of entries, or the incorrect or inaccurate capture of entry or other information, or the failure to capture, or loss of, any such information; failed, incomplete, garbled, corrupted or delayed computer transmissions; the fundamentally flawed nature of humanity; or any condition caused by events that may cause the contest to be disrupted or corrupted.

IN NO EVENT WILL THE BUGLE BE RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR LOSSES OF ANY KIND, INCLUDING DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF YOUR ACCESS TO AND USE OF INTERNET SITE BAKKERBUGLE.COM OR THE DOWNLOADING FROM AND/OR PRINTING MATERIAL DOWNLOADED FROM SAID SITE. WITHOUT LIMITING THE FOREGOING, EVERYTHING ON THIS SITE IS PROVIDED “AS IS” WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OR NON-INFRINGEMENT.

THIS PART IS SO IMPORTANT THAT OUR LEGAL DEPARTMENT WROTE IT IN ALL-CAPS, OR MAYBE ED IN LEGAL ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED HIS CAPS-LOCK KEY AGAIN. WE’VE TOLD HIM ABOUT CAPS-LOCK, AND OUR IT DEPARTMENT EVEN DISABLED IT A FEW MONTHS AGO, BUT HE SEEMS TO HAVE A SUPERNATURAL ABILITY TO WRITE THINGS IN ALL-CAPS DESPITE OUR BEST EFFORTS.

Participants agree that (a) any and all disputes, claims, and causes of action arising out of or connected with this contest, or any prize awarded, or the determination of the winners, shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, and exclusively by arbitration pursuant to the Rules of the Bakker Bugle Arbitration Committee, as then effective, (b) any and all claims, judgments and awards shall be limited to actual out-of-pocket costs incurred, including costs associated with entering this contest, and LEGAL FEES SHALL BE PAID DIRECTLY TO ED IN LEGAL IN A TIMELY FASHION BY BOTH PARTIES; and (c) under no circumstances will participant be permitted to obtain awards for and entrant hereby waives all rights to claim punitive, incidental and consequential damages and any other damages, other than for actual out-of-pocket expenses, and any and all rights to have damages multiplied or otherwise increased. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of participant and/or the Bugle in connection with the contest shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of Kiribati, without regard for conflicts of law doctrine, and all proceedings shall take place in Barcelona, Spain, with all travel and accommodations at the participants’s expense.

For winner names or Official Rules, send your request with a self-addressed, stamped envelope postmarked specifying “Pain-in-the-Butt Legal Technicality” care of ED IN LEGAL, Secret Hideaway #481, Tabontebike, Kiribati.