Substance Trial Survey (Bovril)

Substance Trial Survey, Preparation Phase (Page 1)
Test Series: T-0438 (Bovril)

Subject Name: Will Bakker

Date and Time: 6 Dec 2009, 13:08

Conditions: Subject did not fast, but had a St Nicholas’s Day breakfast of a “bonhomme” and citrus fruit. Also, he consumed two cups of coffee within three hours of the test.

Preparation Step 1: Fresh bottle of Bovril was opened for this test. Contents had slightly higher viscosity than dark maple syrup. Color was surprisingly dark brown, near black. Scent was mild, more beefy than yeasty.

Preparation Step 2: Filtered tap water boiled in standard kitchen kettle. Two teaspoons of Bovril pseudo-liquid moved into Test Mug. Each teaspoon measure of the Bovril pseudo-liquid was very difficult to pour into the Test Mug. Technician used all reasonable force and ultimately failed to accurately measure the amount of Bovril transferred to the Test Mug.

Preparation Step 3: Boiling water poured upon the gelatinous blobs of Bovril which clung to the sides and bottom of the Test Mug. Given its earlier intransigence, it dissolved relatively easily.

Preparation Step 4: The Test Mug and its contents were left to cool for five minutes. Used teaspoon placed in cleansing apparatus. Safety check completed: All Bovril pseudo-liquid confined to cleansing apparatus, Test Mug, and original container.

Observations at time of preparation: Contents of Test Mug now thin and very dark brown, with a bit more gray color than a cup of beef broth of similar depth. Scent changed significantly by addition of boiling water. Now, quite yeasty and very little beef odor. Subject mentions that it recalls the smell of the Guinness brewery of St James Gate. Test Mug appears unaffected by contents: no observations of melting, fizzing, or other alteration. Subject appears greatly affected, presenting facial expressions of hesitation and disgust.


4 Comments to “Substance Trial Survey (Bovril)”

  1. Chet Gryzlowski said...
    9 December 2009

    It’s British. Don’t go near it. Throw it in the trash and watch Braveheart or The Patriot. Don’t support the economy of that murderous regime.

  2. Dave said...
    13 December 2009

    Drink er down!

  3. Unilever UK said...
    18 December 2009

    Dear Mr Bakker,

    We have noted your article. Please desist.

    Unilever UK, Legal and Brand Protection Department

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