Give the corporatists in your neighborhood a real scare this Halloween! Make your very own James Connolly pumpkin this Halloween — an exclusive for Bugle readers.
It’s easy! Just follow these instructions, and you’ll have a Halloween decoration that shows off your socialist credentials and frightens away the local children. Candy is for the working class, not the scions of privilege and oppression!
- Obtain a pumpkin, preferably from a farm that is owner-operated and does not exploit its workers. Better yet, grow your own. (It may be a little late for that in some climates.)
- Download the Bugle’s exclusive easy-to use Connolly Template and open it using your favorite graphics software. Remember that when you use Microsoft software, you undermine the proletariat!
- Resize the template to fit your pumpkin, and print it out. If you can, stick it to the Man by using the printer at work.
- Hollow out your pumpkin. This is a good time to consider how a life of wage-slavery is hollow, with one’s creative energies scooped out by the time one spends at work, simply to obtain the requirements for living.
- Attach the paper to your pumpkin.
- Carve away the black parts on the paper. Reflect on the talents and joys that are carved out of the working class by the poverty and frivolous consumption that are necessary features of a capitalist society.
- That’s it! Add a candle to the inside for an extra-spooky, revolutionary light-from-within.
The template in this post is for pumpkin-carving beginners. 
If you’d like a more advanced template, make your voice heard in the comments!
The photo in this post is for simulation purposes only. No pumpkins were harmed in the writing of this post. Thanks to Clearly Ambiguous for making the original photo available under a Creative Commons license, which expresses solidarity with all persons insofar as possible through the strained context of our crony-capitalist legal system. Clearly Ambiguous’s use of that license does not entail support for the content of this post in any way. So don’t open a file on Clearly Ambiguous, Mr. NSA!