Okay, Farmer Billy’s slow killed bacon, Farmer Billy’s bacon fed bacon, Farmer Billy’s travel bacon. Mr Simpson if you really want to kill yourself I also sell hand guns. — Apu
I was about fifteen. I stood in front of the pantry, hanging from the door and staring into shelves devoid of anything that a teenage runner’s body needs. I just ran ten miles and what, I’m supposed to heat up some Cream of Mushroom soup?
My eyes scanned side to side, back and forth, looking for a genuine snack. Something processed, something salty and oddly, slightly, sweet, something crunchy and immediately satisfying.
Bac-Os. That would have to do. I upended the little bottle and bit down on a mouthful. The chemical taste wasn’t repulsive so much as off-putting. The texture of the bits was hard and gritty at first, and then broke down into a featureless mush.
I wasn’t going to do that again. Even my adolescent hunger wouldn’t drive me to chugging Bac-Os. I’d eat an apple or something, first.
The BB Procurement department recently returned from the supermarket with two products that attempt to improve on that formative experience. (more…)