{"id":94,"date":"2007-09-19T15:51:19","date_gmt":"2007-09-19T14:51:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/2007\/09\/19\/belay-yer-cutlass-and-mind-the-yardarm\/"},"modified":"2007-09-19T15:52:25","modified_gmt":"2007-09-19T14:52:25","slug":"belay-yer-cutlass-and-mind-the-yardarm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/2007\/09\/19\/belay-yer-cutlass-and-mind-the-yardarm\/","title":{"rendered":"Belay Yer Cutlass and Mind the Yardarm"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yo-Ho! A Jolly International Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day to ye!<\/strong> It seems a little crass<\/a> durin’ the Week o’the Constu… Constee… er… Week o’the Foundin’ Document o’me Nation. D’arrrrgh, one can’t expect international<\/em> events<\/a> to give way for a commemoration whut our own fearless captain didn’t raise his rum to. (Sink me! If it be interestin’, feast yer deadlights on my comment below.) <\/p>\n

Aye, I remember back when we sprogs were let out o’our foul urchins’ bulk for a short sun’s spin, to splice the mainbrace with enough grog to keelhaul an English blaggard. I’d play kick-the-bung with me hearties and I’d dance<\/a> to the Cap’n’s hornpipe for a laugh<\/a>. Arrr, I even sang an Irish sea shanty<\/a> now and agin.
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\nIn those bloody days, the holiday was in February and the shivers o’the cold winds discouraged scurvy bilge rats<\/a> from plunderin’ too much booty as they pretended t’be Redbeard<\/a>. Blimey — land lubbers used t’ruin Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day for every hand<\/a> on the poop deck. But now<\/a> it be elbow-deep in panderrrrin’, meaningless sentiment, jus’like (Don’t Talk Like) MLK Jr Day<\/a>. If the Victual Brothers<\/a> be alive today… “Da f\u00e4llt mir doch der Papagei von der Schulter!”<\/p>\n

Mateys, the Emerald Isle owns its own swashbucklin’ history o’buccaneers: me own near times<\/a> and the blood-soaked past<\/a>; there be times filled wi’doubloons whut they richly deserve<\/a> but also days spent kissin’ the gunner’s daughter<\/a>. Now there be a Norse ship in a dry lagoon<\/a>, so Dublin’s tongues be waggin’ like the Jolly Roger in a fair tradewind: We best<\/a> lay the black spot on the pillagers? Aye, or we best be sayin’ “fair play” for givin’ no quarter and then goin’ off-account to build many jolly cities o’Eire, before weighin’ anchor agin?<\/p>\n

Arrrr, green-eyed, horn-swogglin’ sutlers be tellin’ ye<\/a> that the properrrr pirates be from sunny Algiers, thar. But by the powers! a fair sight<\/a> o’the Irish<\/a> be makin’ their livin’ handsomely, scuppin’ furners (und Pfeffersaecke) on the high seas<\/a>, and Irish beauties<\/a> be partic’arrrrly saucy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

As usual, twas the lily-liver’d, murrrrderous bureaucrats be havin’ the last laugh. The Hanse and Landratten be settin’ up a poxy arrrrrrrbit… arrrrrrbitnation… arrrrbitratin’ system<\/a> to scuttle the glorious chase. Such would belay even Das Prachtkerl Stoertebecker! The skirrrrmishs<\/a> o’proud gentlemen o’fortune<\/a> and paper-shufflin’, blige-suckin’ privateers<\/a> be ongoin’ te this very day. Begad and beim Klabautermann! The scallywags<\/a> and lousy dogs<\/a> be handy wi’the cat o’nine-tails<\/a> and the six pounder<\/a>! By me right hook, it be hard to tell<\/a> the jacks<\/a> from sons o’biscuit eaters<\/a>. There be messdeck lawyers<\/a> on the briny deep, from Cork to New Orleans. Smartly there, old salts, unless ye be wantin’ t’feed the fish.<\/p>\n

D’arrrr, I doubt we be makin’ the loadin’ o’the gunwales in Dublin<\/a>. If ye be freshwater corsairs whut live in Chicago thar, ye takes yer clap o’thunder tonight<\/a>! Ahoy, lads, ye can always titivate yer mizzenmast<\/a> through yer own sweet trade<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Brethren o’the Coast, use yer deadlights<\/a>, or ye’ll get yer<\/a> Letter o’Marque<\/a> revoked by Jack Ketch<\/a> or some other squiffy<\/a>! And bring some Schillerlocken to next year’s Day, or I’ll maroon ye meself — wi’a wannion!<\/p>\n

Fair winds, buckos and lasses, until ye hear “Sail ho!” and me crows’nest be on yer horizon. Aye… if ye be shark bait<\/a> or bound fer the hempen halter, don’t be hangin’ the jib. We be heavin’ to, in Fiddlers Green<\/a>. Und immer eine steife Brise!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yo-Ho! A Jolly International Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day to ye! It seems a little crass durin’ the Week o’the Constu… Constee… er… Week o’the Foundin’ Document o’me Nation. D’arrrrgh, one can’t expect international events to give way for a commemoration whut our own fearless captain didn’t raise his rum to. (Sink me! If it be interestin’, feast […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11,6,7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bakkerbugle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}